Okay so today, after work, I had planned on doing homework… I’m back in college- did I mention that… oh yea, I did… Instead, I started checking out other people’s blogs. Most of them have been about their love lives. So, I decided this blog would be about my feelings of love.
As I have mentioned before, I have never been in love. I have this slight feeling that I may never ever be in love… or no, I feel that one day I will fall in love. But, I don’t think I will ever get married. And, I’m okay with that. My feelings about marriage are this… why do you need a certificate to show someone how much you love them. Sometimes, I feel like people rush marriage, or that they stay married because it’s too expensive to get a divorce. At least that’s how it is for my father and stepmother right now. They are like to roommates, not lovers. It’s horrible having to listen to them both bicker.
I have never seen a “real” relationship. My mother divorced my father TWICE (lol- you have to laugh at that. It is kind of funny). When my two siblings and I were younger, she was in and out of relationships. She stayed with one man for quit awhile…. I hated him. Every morning he would wake up and say “good morning children.” We would have to respond to him by saying “good morning Captain Steve” (and this is how I will always remember this man). I hated him at that age, but then again I hated anyone that my mother was in “love” with. To be honest, I feel like every relationship my mother was in was about money, a place to stay, comfort, etc, etc.
My mother is actually a lesbian now and has been this way, with the same person, for about 9 years (I think). I hated this relationship with another woman when I was younger… but now I have come to except it. I know she would do the same for me in any relationship.
I don’t ever want to rush into marriage, nor do ever want be “stuck” in a marriage. My goal is to not be married before the age of thirty. Actually, I think I don’t want to ever get married. I can’t picture myself being in love with one person for the rest of my life. I love those first time jitters you have over someone when you first meet them, and can’t wait to see them again. I feel like I could lose this in a marriage… like we would get bored with each other. However, we would never divorce because it was an inconvenience- too expensive, or it might hurt the children. However, if you were never married in this first place, then it might be easier to just walk away. The n you have the chance of finding another love… and having those same jitters/feelings when you met someone new.
Some people believe that you have only one person that you will truly ever love… or is that just Hollywood
I once met a woman, who told me that I should find someone who I am comfortable with… and that has a lot of money. This had been from a woman who was in her sixth marriage. She would only marry the man if he was rich. However, I must mention, this woman was not the kind of gold digger, money loving, “whore” you may have seen on tv. She was different. You could tell she was smart… not because she had tricked rich men into marrying her for their money. She was different and had a positive aura. I would think of her marriages as more of a business-relationship. She had worked hard with and for the men she had married. And I must mention here that this is not an example of the good/working relationship I spoke of above.
So… those are my feelings of love… for today.
And I hope that I do not offend anyone by these thoughts… for they are my own. And for every that is married, engaged, in love, looking for love… or whatever… the best of luck to you. <3
And I have no doubt that everyone that reads this will think that these thoughts will change once I find “true” love… best of luck to me then.
CC
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