Beginings

GiGi-

            My name is GiG (AKA awesome ninja monkey???)…Not really, I  just felt like saying that. I come from a large Italian family, all of whom are devout Christians. Here is my dilemma, I am gay…As you can imagine, this does not taste so great to my family. Most of them don’t know that I am gay except my parents, one of my brothers, and one of my sisters. When I told my parents that I was gay, my mother cried and left the room and my father suggested that I see a shrink…I did not go to that appointment. In my mind, I am who I am. If you don’t like it then you don’t have to know me. This sounds harsh, but oh well. I am a college student that way too much drama in my life, I don’t know if I do this to myself on purpose or not. Regardless. CC and I met through work, and have become AMAZING best friends. We both like men, but aren’t in competition. This is a good thing, because if we were, I would lose! I mean, if I were straight, I would have to marry her…Just sayin’. I really want this blog to be my encomium of my life. Feel free to tell my that my life sucks and how stupid I am sometimes, but you are also allowed to tell me that I am not the craziest person in the world. Well, I am very crazy, and I don’t think that is entirely a bad thing. I also just realized that I really need to define paragraphs when I write. Oh well, there is a reason why I am better at Math rather than English.

CC-

So right now i would day that GiGi and I are at a critical point in our lives. so many choices we have to make. both of us are around the age of 20. Between college, careers, relationships, family, trying to be independent but still feeling like (or wanting to be) a child...life it tough. Every decision that we make now will effect us later in life-adulthood.

            Ps- I have decided that I don’t care if I am ever grammatically incorrect

Anyways, this is the most critical point in our lives…yet also the most exciting. And that is why I wanted to start this blog. I want to hear what other people have to say. I want to keep my identity a secret so that I am not afraid to share anything/everything… no raunchy stuff though.

I have a lot of questions about guys, school/careers (I am in my third year of college and still have no idea what I am doing… will go into details later), work and whatever else.

             So… basically, I was “ugly” and shy in high school… or so I thought. Then I went to college and something happened. I really don’t know what though.. I can tell that I have definitely become less shy. My appearance also changed. I started off with black hair.. a little on the chubby side (sort of)… and drinking made me a little more open/social. I started drinking my senior year of high school almost every weekend.. my friends and I started getting hit on by guys that hardly or never talked to us…. So maybe things changed b/c of alcohol… and my becoming more social. So, in college I continued going out every weekend. This is when I met the HOTTEST guy in college. He was like the dream guy, the popular guys, the hot guy, that I had always wanted attention from but never got it. He was captain of the lacrosse team, president of a fraternity, extremely sweet, sexy body and had the cutest grin. I was amazed that he even started talking to me…. And we ended up hooking up one night. Then, a girl he was no longer seeing, but she still liked him, bitched me out. Called me a bitch, told me I was ugly and that the guy never and would never like me. I played it off like it meant nothing but it did. And because of her, I stopped seeing the guy. I wish I would have gotten the chance to know what would have happened to us.

            There were not many guys after that… or I stopped trying. With every guy that I meet…so far it has been this way… I have pushed him away, or dated him for the wrong reason. My first boyfriend in high school,  I only dated him because he liked me. I did not like him and was afraid of telling him this. After one month of dating, he told me that he loved me. I said nothing. I hardly talked to him after that… and we split. I am sorry that I did this.

            My first summer home from high school, I met another guy. I am going to be honest. We hooked up at a party, where I got really drunk, and woke up to him having sex with me. I felt stupid that I had gotten that drunk, pretended like I had meant for that to happen. I gave him my number and he started texting me. I felt like I had to see him so I did not look like a slut. We hung out that summer… it was basically about sex, music and alcohol. He really did not care about me. We just got drunk together… at times I got too drunk… went to a couple of (really) good concerts… and had sex. It was terrible. The guy did take me to dinner once, but it was not a real relationship. When I went back to college for my sophomore year, I stopped talking to him. nothing really happened with guys my sophomore year…. For reasons I may reveal later but not now.

            I did not return to college my third year… I took a year off for personal/family issues… may tell later. During that year (2009), I basically cut myself off from the world, my old high school friends, my family… everyone. Except for this one girl at work… who I partied with all the time. It was a bad year for me.

             But now things have changed… A LOT! I am reconnected with old friends, new friends and family. I am starting to date/ “play” the field for the first time. And its kinda scary. I am busy with so many things: school, work, friends, boys. I love it!

            And so this some small history. I am kind of sick of typing for now…. Will hopefully have more later