So my New Years was a little crazy. I ended up really drunk at some bar with some friends of a friend. We were outside, when I saw this hot, tall guy I decided to ask him to dance (he actually had to remind me that I did this). We made-out on the dance floor and I gave him my number. A couple days later, he text me, asked me for my name because he wanted to facebook friend me. I asked him for his name because I was not sure who it was…. And I wanted to check him out first. Funny thing is I accidentally facebooked the wrong person because I forgot what he looked like. I have the tendency to not look and study a person’s face when I am drunk. So, finally I did find the right guy…. After that, New Years man would initiate dialogue by either texting me or instant messaging me through FB (Facebook). I was really hesitant about him, because some of the things he would say were very “stocker-ish.” He wanted to meet me in person and I agreed. So we set up a time and place… which ended up being on his birth day. So I brought three of my friends with me and we went to his place. I was really nervous that night because I knew that the night could either end up being really bad, i.e. lots of awkward silence… or it could go really well. We showed up at his place and meet his friends/roommate… none of which (except one) were going our that night because it was a school night. I sat down in this really big chair and New Year’s boy sat down on the arm.. and we talked… and their was no awkward silence the entire night. We seemed to just “click.” he was easy to talk to, so much that we basically had our own conversation the rest of the night. We both had had the same before thoughts about meeting each other, whether the night would just be awkward or not. We had things in common, such as the love of outdoors and plants. I work at a greenhouse and he wanted to start his own landscaping company. It was weird… I have never met anyone like that. So we (new year’s boy and myself), my friends, and his one friend, went to the bar. New Year’s boy and I hung out like we had known each other for longer than one night. I ended up staying with him that night for two reasons: (1)the friend I was suppose to stay with that night had gone home early and I was not about to drive home and (2)I felt comfortable with the boy, that something more than just one date might happen. So I stayed with him, did not have sex with him.. did some other things though. And we cuddled together like we were a couple. He drove me to my friends house the next day and asked me to hangout with him that weekend
So where is the problem??
He has not really talked to me since.
I texted him later that day and he told me he missed my text because he was sleeping. After that, I texted him once or twice during the week and he did not really respond.
So I deleted his phone number from my phone so that I can no longer text him. He will have to intiate conversation.
The question is WTF? Did he plan all this out? Or is he still stuck up on his old girlfriend. Because his friend told me and my friend told me (idk who told her this) that New Year’s boy had just gotten out of a long relationship… in the beginning of December I think. So is he still stuck on her or was he just using me.
Either way it sucks because it was the very first time that I had felt like something good could actually happen between myself and a boy. With other boys, I have either dated them because they like me or they had potential to be a BF but I “ran.” There are times where I have liked a guy, then if I feel that he starts to like me, I come up with reasons as to why I do not like him. Then I stop talking to him and he stops talking to me and I figure out that I like him….. and basically it just sucks. I have always been afraid of a real relationship. For once I had thought that I had something… someone that I could actually have a real relationship with. Someone that I was comfortable with, had things in common with. The boy was hot and tall (two things that are hard to find… and I need a tall guy because I am tall).
But maybe things ended this way because I am not yet destined to have a relationship. Maybe I would have messed it up (as I usually do) if he had not messed it up first.
There are so many thoughts I have about this… all I know is that one day I would really like to experience what it is like to be in love… b/c even at the age of 22, I have yet to experience this.
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